Saturday, May 18, 2013

Don't f*cking touch me

How many jokes are there are about sexless marriages? How many couples say that they never have sex anymore? How many people say they don't want to have sex anymore?

I've been thinking a lot about this over the last week. I have absolutely no personal space because I am the mother of three kids. Small hands grab at me during all the hours of the day. I don't mean that they only grab my hands. I mean that they grab my face. They hold onto my legs. They stick their hands up my sleeves. I have little faces stuck into my face.

 It doesn't stop there either. We have a cat and while she rarely actually sits on our laps she does find other ways to be near us. If you sit on the floor she will climb under your legs. Or her new favorite thing to do, is while you are on the floor (in any position) she will climb into your shirt or sweater and fall asleep within seconds. 

After days on end of this constant grabbing  poking, nesting, snuggling I don't want anyone to touch me. I would rather recoil back into some dark and deep corner. I just want to recede from the general masses. Forget intimacy! The sad thing is that it could be misunderstood by my husband. He could think to himself that I don't love him. Which is simply not true. I just need down time. I need to be able to complete some tasks without anyone touching me during the process. 

Now add this to my constantly being angry most of the time and I am a ticking time bomb. Excuse me world while I run out into the wilds and scream. I'll be okay some time in the future. 

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