Saturday, February 09, 2013

Girly stuff make you squeamish? Avoid this post.

It might come to a shock to you dear reader that I am in fact a woman. (Although I highly doubt that.) And being said woman, I do something once a month that makes it possible for me to procreate. (again you would have to be daft not to know this)

Back in about fourth grade the girls were separated from the boys in my grade school and we were shown a film about the "joys" of menstruation. We were also given pamphlets (I believe) about the process which included illustrations about proper feminine hygiene items. I am old enough to have been taught about belts for maxi pads. And happy enough to report that by the time I finally met my dear Aunt Flo those belts were but a distant memory for most women.

Women of course have a choice between "pads" or tampons. For the last 25 years or so these products have been more or less the same. Applicators for tampons have been streamlined and pads have been thinned down to the point of being a lot less diaper like. (don't get me wrong most women still feel like they have something about the size of a Cadillac between their legs with a neon arrow floating their head pointing down at them)

Now we get to the ridiculous part of being a woman (or at least for me). For some reason the invisible beings who run the feminine hygiene divisions for whatever parent company who owns them keep deciding to switch up their products. First it will be the outside packaging color scheme or design. Next they get together and start changing the patterning on the removable strip piece that covers the glue. Then they pick a different color for the individually wrapped pads. All the while never doing anything to the actual product the woman uses.

What are the points of these random changes? Are they trying to appeal to some unknown age group? Last I checked most all women have to use one of these products once a month from the ages of about 12 to about 50 or so. Speaking from my own experience I would rather keep whatever is in my pocket or bag on the down low and not have some brightly colored thing calling attention to what I might be experiencing that week.

I keep trying to image what happens in these little meetings where the color or design scheme is being discussed. How silly the conversations must be as they all try and sound very serious and highly informed about a tampon or pad.

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