Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Oh to be perfect, how lucky you must be

My adoptive mom "stopped by" yesterday uninvited and unannounced. I actually have managed to not see her since last October or so. She also conveniently came here on Saturday to drop off something on her way to work. If you are familiar with Seattle, picture south Seattle between the Mount Baker neighborhood and Seward Park. Now drive from there to Ballard and then over to west Seattle. That's really on the way to work, now isn't it? 

I didn't let her in yesterday. Thankfully two of my three kids were off at summer camp so they didn't notice my keeping her on the porch. The first thing out of her mouth was "you have green hair, it isn't Saint Patrick's Day". Ten months of not seeing you mom and that's the first thing you say? Some things never change.

Somewhere in September I think it was she took a course from the Landmark group. I never read any of her letters about her epiphanies about our "relationship" because I knew it would be short lived. And sure enough within 5 minutes of her standing on my porch I was mad enough to slam the door in her face.

It must be so incredibly hard to be my adoptive mom as she has never been wrong or made a mistake. In fact in must be a small miracle and she will most likely become a saint. Can you tell I am trying to find the humor in a situation that honestly could give me an ulcer and send me to the hospital with heart palpitations? 

Her line of thinking of course is that grandparents should know their grandchildren. While that might be true in most cases. I cannot let her anywhere around my children if she is going to belittle me, pointedly make fun of or try and control me as if I were a small child in front of my own children. That simply is unacceptable in my eyes.

While the anger and bitterness swirls around in my head at her lack of understanding I write this blog in hopes of letting some of it go. I didn't sleep well because of this incident yesterday and I clench my jaw just thinking about it.


Ernie Martinez said...

To disrepect you in front of your kids would be a big no no.I understand parents im 37 and my Mom and Dad still worry aboutme and critizie on a mimnum but in noway do they disrespect or belittle me.You did right and i can completly understand your point of view my dad used to criticize my art and photography now he admires it.Wished he accepted it when i was young,but life is not perfect.As i read your blog i see the cool things you do with your kids and they will defently will remeber those moments.I think your an awesome Mother .

Luna Indigo said...

thanks Ernie! I wish my mother would get a clue but it really is a broken record with her.
I really do not want my kids learning from her behavior.