Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Kill them with kindness. Or at least that's what I've been told.

Facebook is a curious place. All sorts of people come out of the woodwork to befriend you. In my case, I get even more interesting things heading my way thanks to my being adopted. I've only known who my birth parents are for the last 5 years.

Recently there has been an email thread going back and forth about family history. There had to have been at least 10 different people on this thread. I only have met maybe 4 in person. I wouldn't know any of the others if I passed them on the street. And while there were all these names on this thread only a few of us would ever pipe up and ask questions or comment.

Out of the blue one of the people who hadn't said boo sent a response out to all of us. My first reaction to what was written was this woman didn't have a clue as to how rude she was. The more I thought about it though, I started to realize that no, this is how she treats everyone. Here is her second email to everyone:

Thanks to all of you for making such a big deal out of a simple request. i shouldn't even be stooping to respond to it but because it seems to be SO offensive that I even suggested it, I will. I haven't been reading them anyway. I just delete them and since I do all of this on my phone it kills my battery.

And you actually aren't the only one that knows the family history or death and disease.

It has gone down hill from here. You and I know that on Facebook you can change your settings so that you don't receive notifications about emails. Or if she was really smart she wouldn't run her battery down by running such big applications on her phone.

This is why I shy away from families. People can be so nasty to each other, never once stopping to think about how it comes across to other people. Here I am barely dipping my toes back into this family, wanting to learn about my family history and SLAP! This woman didn't stop to think about how she was coming across or who the audience was. There are so many other ways she could have approached this.  Now there are hurt feelings and blocked people all stemming from this email.

How stupid and sad.

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