Sunday, November 21, 2010

The internal monologue that justifies the outward actions

I had my husband sit down with his mother and have a conversation about her behavior in regards to our oldest's OT session. My mother in-law claims that on the couple of occasions she has seen therapy sessions that is in my daughter's best interest if there are no distractions while she's having therapy.
                                                     WHAT?
My oldest is non-verbal, which means she doesn't say actual words. She can't tell us how well she has just done in therapy because she doesn't have the lip dexterity. We have to watch so that we know, and she knows how proud we are of her. In fact when she has just accomplished something very difficult then she looks to myself or her dad for that recognition and encouragement. We cheer her on and get huge smiles in return.

If in fact my mother in-law actually thought that she was helping by not being there then wouldn't have she then introduced herself to my daughter's therapist? Wouldn't she have asked me how therapy went that day? Instead my mother in-law hid in my kitchen, not allowing either her husband or my son to come anywhere near the living room. Then not 5 seconds after our therapist left they all flushed into the living room like they had always been there. Never once asking about therapy. I wish I was making this stuff up.

I think my mother in-law is very uncomfortable with having a grandchild who is special needs. I also think that watching a physical therapy or occupational therapy session just cements the fact that her granddaughter is not typical. It might be to much to bare. I really wish she would come to some kind of terms with the fact that special needs are not an embarrassment to the family. I don't know how to help her onto that pathway.

I know what you are all thinking. It's a generational thing. I know it is but I am so TIRED of that excuse. We all use it (I included) to let older generations get away with old prejudices, habits, etc...and you know what? We shouldn't do that. I am starting to believe that as the world around you changes you as a person need to adapt and evolve. It will help you remain active in your surroundings no matter what your age. The longer we live the more necessary this actually is.

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