Sunday, July 04, 2010

A lost art; the art of courting

I was sitting in the movie theater watching "Eclipse" yesterday and I had an idea sprout in my ever turning brain. Now before you leave this blog or pass any judgments on me, know this. I am not a die hard Twilight saga person. I giggle at the mere thought of people being so over the top obsessive about the books and movies. The idea that sprouted in my brain and that has been knocking around up there for the last 24 hours is this: Americans have forgotten how to court and date each other.

You might be shaking your head at me but think about it. While every day our senses are overloaded with overtly sexual poses and pictures in magazines and on various screens we have all but kicked the subtleties of courting out to the curb and down the drain.

While on one level you have to come to expect seeing a sexual act depicted in say a PG-13 or even PG rated movie these days (all of which would never have made it past the editors say 15 years ago). On the other hand many people are too damn afraid to ask someone they like out, or if they do manage too, they don't want to rock the boat and mess anything up if everything is going along just fine.

When did we as a society become so afraid to let someone we like know it? When did it become the norm to go out to coffee and then let the romance part of the relationship fizzle and die? Seriously folks? What's wrong with going out to a play? Dressing up and going out dancing?

(I'm not talking about sex here. I know that happens whenever the willing parties want it to happen. And frankly as long as you are both consenting and using protection, I don't care)

I don't hear about people going out for picnics anymore (yes, they can be romantic and fun. No they really aren't "old school"). People are to plugged in to have a conversation with an actual live human being these days. I'm starting to think that the bulk of what makes people's relationships "complicated" (oh, how I loath that term!) is the simple fact that no one knows how to actually talk to someone who is in front of them anymore.

Next time you are out in a public place start watching people. How many people do you see who are with other people using some sort of mobile device? The numbers are STAGGERING. Put down those damn devices and pay attention to the person you are with. Maybe you'll realize you really do like them, or maybe you'll suddenly realize that you don't have anything in common with them other then how fast you can text each other.

Love is a very simple act. It isn't a complicated emotion, just one that people are afraid of. Either you do or you don't. Sometimes you realize that even though you do love someone, you aren't meant to be with that person. And you know what? That's okay.

Stop being selfish for once, move on. I hate watching people who are together out of habit not because they actually care for each other. Sad but true.

Hey America! Go out and court the ones you are attracted too. If you realize along your initial courting that there is nothing going on, move on. MOVE ON. Games need not be played, don't be afraid anymore. Everyone is afraid of being rejected, everyone. So, start saying yes more. Stop hiding behind your mobile devices, look someone in the eye and ask them out. You'll live even if they say no, I promise. It might hurt but dust yourself off and get back out there.

I want to hear some happy stories, some funny stories and the stories of being rejected and then meeting someone even better. Go on, you can do it!

1 comment:

Cath said...

You are so perceptive. I love your musings!