When you first learn that you are pregnant you can go through a wide range of emotions. Fear and joy are among the top ones. You never actually think or believe that you won’t be having a perfectly healthy baby. With 10 toes and 10 fingers, a wrinkled up face and eyes so dark you wonder what color they will actually be. Labor comes and for some it can be an easy process, for others it can be days of mild labor ending finally in the birth of a little bundle of joy surrounded by the parent’s exhaustion.
After my daughter was born there were some problems. One was jaundice, which actually is quite common and if you stay in the hospital long enough they cure it in a rather funny way. The nurses super glue Velcro patches to either side of your child’s temples, that way they can attach these little soft sunglasses and then under the super “sun” light the infant goes. It was basically a tanning bed with out the tan.
There was another problem that we found after many x-rays and tests were done. It was a very serious one. My daughter was born with congenital heart failure. What the hell is that? It means that there were and are extra holes in the heart. At 15 days old she underwent a surgery that placed a band on her pulmonary artery, thus restricting the blood flow into her heart enabling those holes to grow smaller and eventually close. As she has grown over the last two years we have been waiting for her to outgrow that band and for the holes to go away. On Monday, July 17th, we get to go in and the band will be removed. A little repair work will be done on the artery it’s self because a bit of scaring has of course occurred with the band being there.
Am I terrified? Of course I am. However in a sense my family is lucky. My daughter does not have a terminal illness. She can and will lead a normal life. She’ll be able to play soccer, go surfing, travel the world, whatever she wants. Does she need lots of good thoughts and prays sent her way for a speedy recovery and long healthy life? You bet.
Have I found God in all this? No. I think people who go through things like this and end up super religious already have that in them. I don’t think it happens instantly. I know that some find that answer funny but I think it is true. I can’t wait for the hospital Chaplin to come by again while we are there. They don’t quite know what to make of me, nor do the social workers.
Needless to say I am preoccupied and won’t be blogging for a bit. Send some good thoughts my daughter’s way and I hope to be back in 3 to 7 days from the surgery.